Brilliant new weapon in the war on betas creeps:
Red/Yellow Card project
A commenter named Alice says:
Wow. This is one of the best ideas EVER to educate men, especially geeky men, about what utter creeps they are being (intentionally, cluelessly, whatever). Way to educate them in a creative way that plays on a masculine trope!
(I guess the masculine “trope” is soccer? Weird I thought chick soccer players were America’s darlings now. Retards.)
So let’s break this down. Geeks, generally among the most harmless, deferential, introvert men we have, go to a tech convention, have a few wine spritzers or microbrews or Mountain Dew cocktails or whatever geeks drink these days, and get riled up over the presence of ugly but technically inclined girl geeks. Shockingly, some of them actually try to talk to them in a way that they hope against hopes will lead to some kind of physical contact. Creeps.
Here’s what I wrote a few weeks ago:
Too aggressive? You’re a creep or a rapist and you should go to jail. Too much of a pussy? Have fun jerking off alone, pussy. That is the beta male’s double bind in 2012.
And so what I think we ought to do, is raise some cash and have another geek convention, and the women have to go topless, and hire as many nice flirty strippers as it takes to round out a 1:1 sex ratio.
My only reservations about sticking up for these guys is the ridiculously high percentage of them who, far from sticking up for themselves, come galloping to the aid of the whiners and babies on the other side. I can think of nothing more pathetic. Do they think it will get them laid? I wouldn’t count on it.
Ed: The cashier at Key Food just told me I have nice eyes. But she was ugly, so I guess I, too, have been the victim of harassment. When will justice be done?
“Too aggressive? You’re a creep or a rapist and you should go to jail. Too much of a pussy? Have fun jerking off alone, pussy. That is the beta male’s double bind in 2012.”
I think that’s a pretty big overstatement of the intentions and attitudes surrounding the current discussion about conference harassment. No one wants to send people to jail. No one wants dudes to be relegated to jerking off alone in a room. I think I, and many other women, just want to be treated with the same amount of respect as anyone else. And many of us are willing to call out those who don’t meet that incredibly low standard.
Ok who thinks I should respond? Or wait, can we do one of those things where someone else writes what he thinks I’ll say?
Eh you’d reply with a trolly insult, maybe inviting KC to show up topless at your new convention.
I could see real harassment being an issue at these Cons but don’t think these cards are a great idea. If there are guys just going around groping women at these things, have security kick them out. If it’s wildly inappropriate comments, I think “Fuck off” does the job, and stuff closer to unwanted flirting, just end the conversation and move on. These cards aren’t non-confrontational; they’re just a different form.
FWIW I’ve heard that at other Cons (ComicCon I think) the organizers actually do hire models to show up dressed as half-naked Princess Leias and such, to take the brunt of the advances from attendees.
” I think I, and many other women, just want to be treated with the same amount of respect as anyone else.”
I don’t think giving somebody a yellow card for doing something you deem mildly inappropriate is treating them with respect.
Once in college I went to a journalism conference in Chicago. Typical convention at a hotel convention room, speakers, dinner, cocktails, etc. My associate and I made ourselves the social hub of the event and had a great time. The first night we hung out with some genteel men from Texas, honorable scholars in our opinion. They had cigars and we had whiskey and a good time was had by all. The delegation from the Cornell Review featured a beautifully severe young woman—gray wool skirt dark stockings scowling face—but beautiful nevertheless. So what we have here is a happy social scene; a bunch of sophisticates getting slowly drunker as the hours advance and feeling really good about having met each other, talking about the presentations, etc etc etc—the very point of such a convention. In this atmosphere and with the night drawing on, one of our new friends approaches the stunner from Cornell and says something like, “I’d like to you tell you that I think you’re really beautiful.” What can we say about that? How do we think she should have responded to what was, after all, a compliment? Her choice was to slap his face.
The point of the story is that when KC comes to tell us that she’ll “call out” anyone who isn’t being “respectful” toward women at the convention, well, who could argue with that? But look deeper and you see that in this context “respect” means never ever having to endure a display of sexual interest from a man you don’t find desireable. Once you state it in this way, the problems with such a definition of respect are many and obvious. It’s subjective, it’s impractical, and it’s selfish, to name three.
I’m not proposing that women should always, in every social context be available for sexual/romantic advances, and if I heard that women were getting up to the lectern at these conventions to deliver papers on crypto algorithms and that the males there were disparaging them or giving them short shrift or whatever just because they were girls, and raising their hands during the Q&A that follows just to say “I think you’re cute what are you doing after,” then I and everyone else I can think of would object to that. But does anybody think that anything even remotely like that is happening at these geek conventions? I really doubt it.
So what we’re talking about is the idea that women should be entitled to move freely through all social spaces, such as the post-convention booze fests like the one I had in Chicago, in which men have the responsibility to initiate encounters that could lead to sex/dating/etc and to bear the frequent rejection that comes with that, and on top that, women should be entitled to complain of “harassment” when their initiatives fail (and of course also just as much entitled to enjoy the upsides of getting balled by an alpha). This is bullshit; it’s simply unfair. It’s yet another expression of feminism’s central directive: 100% choice, 0% accountability. In a social environment where men and women are given the same rank and the same privilege to participate, it is inevitable that men will be the catalysts for romantic encounters. They bear that burden; they accept rejection. It is very little to ask in return that you ladies handle them with what used to be called feminine grace when you don’t like what they have to offer. But it’s a hell of a lot easier to slap faces and release ridiculous videos. Look, if peaceful male sexual attention in explicitly social settings is too much for you, if you lack the maturity to deal with them, then stay home. Or go to a knitting club instead of a bar or a mixed-sex convention. Or adopt some measures popular in other more progressive societies: the hijab and the burqa and the mahram for example.
Another expression of this complaint centers around the word “objectification.” This is what they call it when some bastard has the gall to let on that he wants to have sex with women. So let me blow the cover off of this one: All of us men are objectifying all of you women all of the time—and we have the right to do it. Despite this we are, by and large, very very good at (quoting from the yellow card) “being respectful and mindful of people’s boundaries”—in fact most of us are too good at it for our own good, given that the guys who are getting laid are the ones who are most expert at flouting those boundaries in a seductive way. If we could get some honesty out of a typical moderately attractive women, we’d hear that the cute tennis player on her bus home at night “objectifies” her too infrequently.
Let me restate the point of the Chicago story. The Texan wasn’t slapped for “disrespecting” that girl, or “harassing” her, or “objectifying” her. He was slapped for failing to do a good enough job of it. This standard of behavior is no standard at all; it’s completely subjective, unworkable, ultimately oppressive. I reject it. Imagine for a moment what would happen if I slapped a girl for rejecting me, or for making a sexual pass at me, and then try telling me about “equality.” We ought to find our balls again, and tell these girls that they have no choice but to quit whining and grow up.
Since we’ve had some disagreements on similar topics, I just want to point out that I endorse Eric’s, Jim’s, and Mike’s posts here. I think that the border Jim defines (that guys shouldn’t listen to a smart, accomplished woman and then comment only on her cans) is the right one, as well as the balancing requirement that women deflect reasonably respectful advances with grace, since the onus is generally on guys to do the advancing-upon. (And obviously stuff like unsolicited groping as described in the original post is way over the line.)
I think there was an SNL skit with a handsome host and it was like a PSA on how not to sexually harass women in the workplace and the lesson was “be attractive”… anyone know what I’m talking about?
I believe you are referring to the following:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sexual-harassment/258532
You are correct.
I have to go online more often, this post was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. I cannot believe this is for real, I literally laughed out loud reading about the creeper card project, this is goddamned hysterical. These cards are amazing, they should be carried by everyone everywhere and used freely. Can we give a red card to the person who came up with them? Based on what the card says, she deserves it more than anyone. Also, is “conference harassment” the new social plague? Will creeper card creator be the subject of a dateline segment entitled “Conference Harassment: When reporting about Cyberbullying becomes boring” ?
Matt I’ve been scrapbooking my creeper cards for a while now they make great convention mementos.
That’s great, I am still laughing out loud over this. I feel a little deprived in life since I have not yet received a creeper card. I tried to comment on their blog but I am not sure if they are still moderating me or did not feel my comment was an insightful contribution to the conference harassment discussion.
Matt definitely got one of those cards at some point in our history. But yeah, this is hysterical. And the person who made these fucking stupid cards is clearly just looking for attention.
KC (@KdotCdot) closed out her hilarious post to comments today essentially because she didn’t like what somebody posted, just as all children and tyrants do when they hear opposition; shut it up.
ahhhhaha I went over there to check it out: nice work Matt lots of people tweaked the clown but only you sent it packing.